Expectations

“You’re never nice to yourself. I don’t like that.”

I typically don’t realize how hard I really am on myself. I don’t realize this because I have the basic belief that I should be A LOT harder on myself. I feel like I don’t enforce enough rules or demand enough out of me. I feel like a living example of the word contradiction.

Okay, so if you think that you are too nice, why do others [at least the person who said the above quote] feel like you are too mean? I’m not quite sure. Perhaps it is a difference in standards. I hold myself to a different standard than I do others. I expect more from myself, but I am not disappointed when others don’t meet these.

So… you admit that you are meaner to yourself than you are to others? No, not exactly. I do not believe that what I am doing is mean. When did having expectations become cruel? I would say that if anything is cruel in this process is the disappointment that sometimes follows.

But if I stop setting objectives, I would frequently experience crippling disappointment because I would never achieve anything at all. I would read for enjoyment, instead of completing homework. I would socialize, instead of attending classes.

I need these expectations, so that I am not cruel to myself. I need these expectations, so that, maybe, one day, I can make a Positive difference in someone’s life. My expectations are really formulated with good intent out of self-love.

Good night!