*After ranting about the smelly tomato plants at work, my friend jokingly said that I should write a swing song called ‘Smelly Tomatoes’. He didn’t realize I would. Now, to see if I can get him to write some actual swing music for it*
******
Buh duh dee dee dee dee dooww
***
In the summer heat,
How can I keep my peace,
When I’m less than .3 feet
From a smelly tomato
You don’t understand
Just smile, try not to condescend
***
I’ve tried to ask them
Just what their problem is
They said ‘it’s on our stems,
Our stems are where the problem is’
***
Buh duh dee dee dee dee dooww
***
And if I die from heat
Before this song’s complete
You know where you can eat
The ripest, smelly tomatoes
***
You still don’t understand
Just smile, try not to condescend
***
‘Cuz if you look close
You’ll see something like hair
They say that’s the problem, it’s called trichome
The structures are quite like hair
***
Buh duh dee dee dee dee dooww
***
At 130 degrees,
Little seems to be neat
More noticeable than feet
These smelly tomatoes
***
And if you understand
Just smile, try not to condescend
***
The only thing worse
Is they secrete a yellow sap
If there were such a thing, such a thing as a curse
It’d be that staining, yellow sap
***
Buh duh dee dee dee dee dooww
***
Smelly tomatoes
Now we know why this fruit is often thrown.
Smelly, smelly
Smelly tomatoes.
*****
Ashley Kirtman 