There are so many conversations that I desperately need to have, but I’m avoiding them. These conversations scare me, honestly. They require me to stand up, which, lucky me, I am so skilled at.
I know that they will happen, eventually. I just do not know how to go about initiating them. So, instead, I’m being evil to myself and all of the people that I need to literally converse with. I want to just go ahead, but I am so fearful of the outcome.
I want to prolong them being upset and hurt and angry for as long as possible, especially it seems when these emotions would be directed at me. I am sincerely sorry that I am such a coward, and that these conversations are required. I’m beating myself up over it, really, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it couldn’t be helped. I need to do what I think is best for me, what people might say and feel about me should be irrelevant. They should be, but they’re not.
May your life be less of a mess than mine ^.^
Ashley Kirtman 