Okay, so I really didn’t want to write about this, especially publicly. I would much rather like to be able to think of something witty and entertaining, but no such luck. This is what is predominantly on my mind tonight.
I know this girl; we will dub her Carol [she would not want to be talked about in real life, let alone in a blog]. Carol is extremely shy. When I say extremely, it just does not express to how severe of a degree she is timid. When she is addressed you cannot help but to fear that she will run away.
I am friends with Carol, at least, I like to think that I am. I met her because we were thrown together in a “get-acclimated-to-college-life” group. I instantly recognized the signs of someone who was painfully shy. I took it upon myself to befriend her. It’s not like I looked down on her, quite the opposite, really.
I am a shy person, and I felt that I could relate to her and help. The rest of the group had been overlooking her. Either they didn’t realize how badly she needed a friend or they didn’t want to put a lot of work into it. Anyway, it worked. I was able to draw Carol out of her shell. She would initiate conversations, she’d laugh, and she even told jokes!
Needless to say, I was really proud of her. College would be so much easier for her now that she knew how easy it was to make friends. Except that as soon as our ‘get-accustomed-to-college” group broke up, all of her newfound confidence and securities disintegrated.
She became a recluse. We live in the same dorm, but I hardly see her. Whenever I do, she looks so unhappy. I’ve tried inviting her out, but she always makes the excuse that she has to study. I understand that academics are really important, but we shared a class that she was struggling in and she made the same excuse to not accept my help.
She doesn’t think she’s worthwhile. This is not just a reckless conclusion. I know this. Many times when we were talking, she’d get excited and start to tell me something and abruptly stop saying something like “Oh, never mind. It’s boring.” or “It’s really not important.” Sometimes my friend and I could coax it out of her. We kept trying to let her know that she was not at all boring. During one of these instances, we learned that what she really wants to do is paint, but she’s majoring in business. She hates business.
Well, I got the bright idea that I could help her without her even knowing that it was me. So, recently [VERY recently], I started leaving messages under her door like: “Smile! You are beautiful! <3” and “You have the potential 🙂 So don’t worry.” I have no idea what she thinks of these notes or even if she is receiving them [her roommate could always pick them up before her].
I just really hope that these notes are helpful and not just plain creepy.
Being a creep with good intentions is forgivable, right? No? Okay.
Nighty-night!
Ashley Kirtman 